In lesbian culture, every day is Valentine’s Day. So how can we make this holiday of romance extra special, beyond the chocolates and overpriced prix fixe dinners? Here are some creative and intentional ideas for your sapphic Valentine’s Day date.
From a night of grand gestures or if you’re just hoping to dodge the Hallmark-industrial complex, here’s my lesbian Valentine’s Day ideas guide.
1. Cozy Winter Getaway
Escape to winter wonderland places like Quebec City in Canada or Lake Placid in Upstate NY, with winter festivals, ice caves, and scenic landscapes. Or just rent a cabin with a fireplace, and sip on hot cocoa with a good book or lesbian TV show, while surrounded by snow. For more adventure, take local snowboarding lessons or go snowmobiling. Bonus points if your rental has a hot tub!
For exotic adventures, head to Iceland for glacier hikes, volcanic hot springs, and northern lights. Don’t miss the capital’s incredible gastronomy. (Iceland is one of my favorite lesbian travel destinations).
2. Pottery Class
Roll up your sleeves for a pottery date night, either wheel or hand building/sculpting.
For wheel, a lot of spaces like BKLYN CLAY, Artshack Brooklyn Ceramics, or Gasworks NYC have date night lessons. But do note that you need strong wrists for this. Otherwise, I recommend hand-building instead, which is just as fun and less humbling than the wheel. Unorthodox does a blinded head sculpting class that we really liked, but it’s kinda quick (like 30-45 min after logistics), so pair the experience with dinner or a show afterward.
If you’d rather stay in, check out this pottery date night kit or an air dry clay kit that you can order online (also a cute valentine’s gift). You can craft matching mugs, plates, or mini sculptures decorated with inside jokes and doodles only the two of you would understand.
3. Treatchoselves to a Day Spa
Book a day spa with various amenities like hot pools, steam rooms, saunas, and massages. For this, I really like AIRE Ancient Baths which even has a private wine pool and salt-water floating experience. They limit bookings, so it never feels crowded. Or, for an entire day, Sojo Spa (pictured above) offers dozens of hot pools, hot sand burying, themed sauna rooms, and more, with panoramic rooftop views of NYC.
4. Cozy Home-Cooked Dinner
Toss on matching aprons, grab some wooden spoons, and pick a menu that’s cozy and decadent. Like a well-flavored oven-baked chicken with roasted veggies, your favorite salad, and lots of love/flavor. Bake the dessert (or order it if you get tired). Cue up a playlist of hip-hop jazz, flamenco, or some Tegan and Sara in the background. Afterward, exchange your beautiful lesbian Valentine’s Day cards at the table, savoring every handwritten word.
Need help cooking? Sign up for a cooking class like Mia’s Cocina in Manhattan (she’ll teach you how to make iconic Puerto Rican dishes). Use these skills to make dinner at home or take the class together as a date!
5. Tropical Getaway Surprise
Leave winter behind entirely. Head to the Cayman Islands (pictured above), where world-class beaches and upscale dining make every moment feel like a honeymoon. While still a religious country, we felt very safe here. While they don’t allow gay marriage, gay civil partnerships/unions have been legal since 2020.
If you’re craving more adventure and culture, Puerto Rico’s lush jungles, vibrant city streets, and island-hopping day trips offer endless rewards. And they might have the most vibrant gay scene in the Caribbean. Add a trip to one of the nearby islands, like Vieques, for black sand beaches and kayaking in a bioluminescent bay at night.
Want even more flavor? Book a flight to Thailand. Not only is this one of the most queer-friendly destinations in Asia (where they even culturally recognize a third gender), but you’ll have endless cultural, foodie, and outdoor opportunities. From waterfalls and islands to mountain towns and bustling cities, Thailand has it all. Don’t sleep on Bangkok, it’s one of my favorite cities in the world.
Also, in Thailand, you can get a massage every single day for a couple of dollars.
6. Unique Performance, Theater, or Other Show
Trade your sweatpants for that fancy outfit that’s been collecting dust in your closet, and snag tickets to a live performance, play, or musical. Flamenco shows are so romantic, and immersive theaters like Sleep No More are so sensory-pleasing.
Even better? A QUEER SHOW!! I love Company XIV or House of Yes‘s Dirty Circus in Bushwick, both offer gorgeous performances featuring queer artists and culture.
If you need a good laugh (don’t we all these days), head to a comedy club. I LOVE the Comedy Cellar in Manhattan, which often surprises us with a celebrity appearance! Last time, Marcello Hernandez (SNL) surprised us all, and I screamed like an excited little kid. Or the queer-friendly Tiny Cupboard Club in Brooklyn for a more intimate space.
Oh, Mary is a very queer play on Broadway that’s blown up! And NYC tourism offers a buy-one-get-one-free sale for Broadway tickets from end of Jan to early Feb, so you can plan your V-day one week in advance and save hundreds of dollars!
Remember to book these in advance. And check your local listings in places like Eventbrite to see what shows or queer performances happening near you during Feb 14 week.
7. Game Night
Stay in for a sapphic game night and pull out classic board games or lesbian-specific games like Lesbian Love Battleship for deeper connection, The Ultimate Lesbian Conversation which has interesting questions, or Lesbian Love Shuffle for spicing things up. Pair this with your own DIY charcuterie board with your favorite spreads and some home-made mulled wine.
Or head out to an LGBT-friendly board game cafe like Sip & Play in NYC, where you can sip cocktails while plotting your next move.
8. Co-Create a Piece of Art at Home
Order these acrylic paint markers and a coiled sketchbook for an evening of masterpiece co-creation. Make “rules” for each art work: only squiggles, tell a specific story, or stick to a 3-color palette. Then take turns adding to the canvas in 5-10 minute intervals. Do this while you pop in a good sapphic film. By the end, you’ll both have created a work of art.
Don’t want to co-create? Sit across from each other and watercolor portraits of one another. It’s part hilarity, part heartwarming glimpse into how your partner sees you and the world (some of it can be abstract). No art degree required.
9. Visit a Nearby City
Grab the train or bus and head into a nearby city where you can be your most unfiltered, PDA-loving-selves. Cities like Boston, DC, or NYC are bursting with queer-friendly spaces like Misfits Kava Bar (a queer-Latina-owned gem in Bushwick) or Grotto, a pop-up sapphic cocktail bar hosting dreamy events throughout the city (they’ll surely have something for Valentine’s Day).
Or just spend the day playing tourist by hitting up local lesbian bars, underground theaters, and art collectives. In between those adventures, indulge in the city’s food scene and cap it off with a good dessert spot.
Read More Queer / Sapphic Dating Guides
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- Lesbian Love Poems to Make Your Heart Soar
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- How to Slow Down the Lesbian U-Haul Without Losing the Magic
- Why Do Lesbians Move So Fast in Relationships
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